[todaysdate]
By Brien Pittman
“It took years of overcoming terrific fear as well as self-loathing to emancipate myself from my cult-like upbringing years ago. Still, the aftermath of growing up like that has continued to affect me negatively as a professional (nightmares, paranoia, etc.).”
– Allison
“I was an outcast and this only added to the mental pain. I had nowhere to turn so after a year I turned back to the religion. I tried to “repent” and return. I had never felt such shame. I had to come into (church) late and leave early, so no one would see me. I had to sit in the back so that no one would be tempted to or accidentally talk to me. No one could talk, smile, or even make eye contact with me.”
– Christine
“I had to move away because I just could not be in the environment any more. My entire family is in the church and I struggle to explain to them what I am going through. I feel extremely isolated and sometimes I wonder if I am going insane. I am extremely lonely and I suffer from intense depression at times.”
– Paul
“I’ve lost everyone I have ever loved. Sometimes it feels like my mind is being ripped apart. What is truth, who do I trust? I cry myself to sleep every night and pray that I will not wake up and have to face another day.”
– Manfred
These very real experiences are not uncommon for people who have been emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually abused by their church or religion. Unfortunately, to date spiritual trauma is not readily recognized by society since the general perspective is that religion, for the most part, is a positive, or at least nonthreatening personal experience so the maltreatment of millions goes unrecognized.
Not that long ago, a similar societal attitude existed for people who suffered from other unnamed and unrecognized syndromes or disorders. Clearly naming problems like anorexia, PTSD, or bipolar disorder made it possible to stop self-blame and move ahead with methods of recovery. I believe that the time is long over due for our society to recognize and address what more and more people refer to as Spiritual Trauma Syndrome (STS). One can see the widespread pain and desperation on many online forums overflowing with stories of STS and cries for help. Shockingly, the majority of the destructive religions are mainstream Christian based.
This is the first in a series of post that will be discussing spiritual abuse, beginning with the barriers to recognition and followed by subsequent post on symptoms and causes. In addition, we’ll discuss what our religious community can do to encourage and promote more mature and enlarging forms of spirituality that prevent religion from becoming abusive.
Barriers That Need To Be Removed
1. Raising questions about or bringing attention to toxic beliefs and practices in religion is still a violation of a major taboo, much the way it was in the 16th century. In our society, we treasure our freedom of speech, freedom of assembly, and freedom of religion. Our laws and mores reflect the general principle that if we are not harming others, for the most part, we can do as we like. Belonging to a religion or attending church hardly seems dangerous or criminal. Thus the manipulation and subsequent trauma has been perpetuated in silence decade after decade, destroying the wellbeing of millions of people, especially children. Added to this silence is the deliberate denial and ensuing cover up of sexual, mental, emotional and spiritual exploitation by many mainstream religions.
The following comment from a young women dealing with STS may be the best way to convey the immense resistance posed by this barrier:
“If I had been discriminated against, beaten, sexually abused, traumatized by an act of violence, or raped, I would be heard. I would receive sympathy, understanding. I would be given the appropriate psychological care. I would have legal recourse and protection. However, I am a trauma victim that society does not hear even though I did experience all of those things.”
With a little research one easily finds that thought control, mental and emotional abuse and physical and sexual violence is actually the norm for many large religious groups in our communities. The general irreproachableness of religion in our society makes it all the more insidious. When the religious communities are so large and the practices standardized, victims are silenced. Clearly, the religious members of society need to let go of making religion a special case in which criticism of beliefs and practices is taboo. We owe it to our faith-based community, our families and especially to those who have already been injured. Ultimately, what does it say about the larger life of our spirituality if we do not?
