Each week in the Viewpoints feature FāVS asks its writers to respond to a timely question about faith and ethics.

This week’s question comes on the heels of Thanksgiving:

What pieces of advice would you pass on to the next generation as they establish their own Thanksgiving (holiday) traditions?

Andy Castrolang: Right off the bat I would say this: focus FIRST on the relationships, and only after you prioritize the people, then you can focus on the food, the dishes, the pretty decorations.

Too many meals are ruined by perfectionism, some “ideal” that has been put in the heads of the hosts by magazines, by pictures. Get rid of them and focus on friendship, laughter, human connection.

Luke Grayson: Family is the people you have built, not always the ones you’re born into. Going home for the holidays can be stressful, so it’s good to do something a few days after to build yourself back up.

For my kids this means we do queer Thanksgiving the Saturday after, where they all come home, hang out with their chosen/adopted family, and get reminded that being who they are doesn’t make them worth any less or any less lovable, and that their chosen names will always be respected. It means that they will always be loved as they are, and they will never be asked to dull down who they are to be accepted in our home.

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About Andy CastroLang

Andy CastroLang is senior pastor at Westminster Congregational United Church of Christ. She is deeply committed to civil discourse between individuals and throughout our community; in interreligious conversation, private conversation, intergenerational conversation and yes, even in political conversation. She has been a supporter of SpokaneFaVS since its inception because she supports this creative effort at thoughtful community conversation.

• Raising Men Who Reject Toxic Masculinity - May 31, 2018
• Silence the anger and add forgiveness, mercy to the media conversations - April 10, 2018
• Viewpoints: Thanksgiving Traditions - November 29, 2017
• “Prayer is my communion” - November 25, 2017
• Showing up for our young people - September 27, 2017
• Generosity and compassion appear at the most unexpected moments - May 24, 2017
• To speak, or to be silent? - April 27, 2017
• Organizing: Turning fear into anger, despair into courage - February 1, 2017
• Eco theologian to speak tomorrow at Westminster about earth, need for change - October 31, 2016
• Viewpoints: Faith and accountability - October 10, 2016

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• About the Author
• Latest Posts

About Luke Grayson

Luke Grayson is a 20-something nonbinary transperson who has been in Spokane since 2012 and is an advocate for the LGBT community and for transgender youth.
He is currently helping raise kids and trying to make schools more inclusive and accepting of transgender youth. He is also attempting to help make the local community more inclusive of both the LGB and transgender communities.
Luke is also a slam (performance) poet who went to Atlanta for National competition last year as a part of a team representing Spokane.
Luke uses he/him or they/them pronouns.

• Father’s Day was hell for asylum seekers - June 18, 2018
• Chase Youth Awards recognizes Freeman High - March 19, 2018
• Viewpoints: Thanksgiving Traditions - November 29, 2017
• Spokane’s heart problem - October 28, 2017
• Millennials feeling righteous anger - May 7, 2017
• How to be a better ally to the transgender community - October 17, 2016
• Prayer for abusers, but pray for victims too - August 16, 2016
• For many people gay clubs are a sanctuary - June 13, 2016
• South Carolina – An Issue of Human Rights - April 10, 2016
• Finding closure by saying goodbye to an old church - March 9, 2016

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