Ahhh the New Years Resolution. “Anything is possible!!!” “Carpe on your denim” or whatever that Latin phrase is. “Grab the Bull by the horns”… just try to avoid the goring. “The times are your goblet, so drink to the full” and…don't forget the the dregs. On and on my faith and failure experience with visions and dreams wrestle with one another, choking and punching and kicking me in the tenders like a horse feigning friendship. Granting me the trophy of power and persistence only to strip it from my hands in an unforeseen moment of unavoidable drama or trauma.
Life can soar and suck in the course of a few months. I'm currently in physical therapy recovering from my previous years Biggest Loser “Get Fit” resolutions. Now I'm looking at a new year and trying to fit the puzzle pieces of desire and disappointment into the frame of the upcoming days. Sometimes life just makes me want to read Ecclesiastes with a 'tude.
But when the dust settles and the 'juice the jugular' of ambition crowd calms down and the 'do anything and everything' cheers fade, I'm reminded of God's wisdom and promise:
“You shall not go out with haste, . . . for the Lord will go before you, and the God of Israel will be your rear guard,” Isaiah 52:12.
My days are mere paragraphs of pages of chapters of the book of my life. A book that one day God will open and then judge by its entirety. That perspective helps me face my failures and get back up and try again or plunge into something new.
Through it all he is still there and that gives me hope as I turn the page on one year and begin to set the pen to the next.
I am Frederick Christian Blauer IV, but I go by Eric, it sounds less like a megalomaniac but still hints at my Scandinavian destiny of coastal conquest and ultimate rule. I have accumulated a fair number of titles: son, brother, husband, father, pastor, writer, artist and a few other more colorful titles by my fanged fans. I am a lover of story be it heard, read or watched in all beauty, gory or glory. I write and speak as an exorcist or poltergeist, splashing holy water, spilling wine and breaking bread between the apocalypse and a sleeping baby. I am possessed by too many words and they get driven out like wild pigs and into the waters of my blog at www.fcb4.tumblr.com. I work as a pastor at Jacob’s Well Church (www.jacobswellspokane.com) across the tracks on ‘that’ side of town. I follow Christ in East Central Spokane among saints, sinners, angels, demons, crime, condoms, chaos, beauty, goodness and powerful weakness. I have more questions than answers, grey hairs than brown, fat than muscle, fire than fireplace and experience more love from my wife, family and friends than a man should be blessed with in one lifetime.