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How much is enough?

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FLI_100413_moneyOne of the perennial quandaries for most people of faith is “How much is enough?” Most major world religions have some sort of message that ethical values include living simply, not working to amass large amounts of wealth, helping out those less well off or less able. And this leads to questions to which I’ve never found clear and specific answers. How much wealth can I accumulate and still be ethical and faithful? How much should I give to my faith community? To charity?

Years ago, when Nelson Rockefeller (one of the very rich industrial baron Rockefellers, former governor of NY and vice-president under Ford) was asked this very question, “How much is enough?” He thought for a minute and then replied, “Just a little bit more than I have now.” And that is a very common attitude in our culture. No matter how much we have, we need at least a bit more.

After 9/11, President Bush told the people that we needed to go out and buy things to be patriotic and support our country. Not because we needed more things, but because our capitalist economy needed people to buy stuff. It has become an integral part of our way of life to accumulate more ‘stuff’ than we need. This used to be reflected in the phrase “Keeping up with the Joneses.” Today we are more likely to call such a person an ‘early adopter’ of new technology (i.e. someone who must have the latest computer, phone, android, television…).

A number of years ago, my circle of friends included a family that decided to take a different approach to the question “How much is enough?” They spend several lengthy conversations, and much soul searching, and eventually came up with a description of an acceptable standard of living. It was a pretty simple one. One high gas mileage vehicle, a pretty modest home, a couple of meals out, movies, concerts each month, a certain amount of clothing — used if feasible. They also decided how much they needed in savings, for economic emergencies. Then they made the commitment that anything they earned beyond what they needed for that lifestyle would be given away. I lost track of this family over the years, but as long as I knew them they continued to follow this principle. They had two children and raised them with the same principles. Both adults had professional careers and they did well financially — so I suspect they gave away quite a lot. For as long as I kept in contact with them, they were on of the happiest families I knew. It was surprising, even to them, how much less stressful life was when they weren’t trying to earn more, accumulate more, buy more.

I thought that I would follow a similar practice. But my life has taken me a different path. I’ve tended to live simply both because I believe in it and because I’ve never been able to afford a lot of ‘stuff’. Because much of our life was on the edge economically, I did not experience the same confidence and peace as the family I described. But I recently asked my daughter if she felt deprived that we didn’t have the things that many of her friends had during her high school years — a place at the lake, a boat, a sports car. She looked at me like I was nuts. She reminded me of our camping trips: to Yellowstone and the Tetons, Grand Canyon, Arches, Mesa Verde, Historic Tucson, the Washington coast. And our whirlwind camping trip through historic New England. She said, “None of my friends got to do any of those things.” So we didn’t spend much on motels or restaurants, but we saw much of America on our trips. One summer, while I was in seminary, I was able to put our things in storage and spend rent money flying to Guatemala where we spent two months volunteering in a small village in the highlands. It was a life-changing experience.

I still sometimes feel guilty that I did not pursue a more lucrative career and give my kids more financial advantages. But most of the time, I believe that our simple lifestyle gave them healthy attitudes toward our consumer driven culture. And they assure me that what we had together — particularly the experiences — was more valuable than money. So it must have been enough.

Join us at 10 a.m., Oct. 5 for our next Coffee Talk for a conversation on Money and Ethics. The discussion will take place at Chairs Coffee. Conklin is a panelist. 

Deb Conklin
Deb Conklin
Rev. Deb Conklin’s wheels are always turning. How can the church make the world a better place? How can it make Spokane better? Her passions are many, including social justice in the mainline tradition, emergence and the post-modern and missional church.

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Anna Marie Martin
10 years ago

What a great post.

I think too often, that we as Americans get consumed by the stuff we consume. I don’t “need” the latest gadget (phone, computer, car stereo, car, etc). I don’t fit into super-expensive fashion wear (the short, chubby folk get excluded from high fashion!). I don’t want “the newest, bestest fastest toy.”

I remember, walking in the Fashion District in New York City, about a month after 9/11/2001. I saw one of the street banners, and it said: “Fight Terrorism: SHOP!”

I stood there, for minutes, it seemed. I was feeling so many emotions I just couldn’t process them all! I was appalled, disgusted, confused… I simply couldn’t conceive how shopping would prevent another extremist from hurting us. Isn’t that why “they hate us”? Because we are so cavalier with the world’s resources?

I’m glad that you and your daughter were able to talk about her childhood, and that the distress you felt about not being able to provide “what you thought your daughter should have,” was alleviated. That’s a tough one: we always want to do right by our kids.

Well done!

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