By Mark Azzara
My Dear Friend,
Last week you may remember I said I would be writing to you this time about resistance to change. I had to bite my tongue last week because I really had a lot to say about that topic, especially considering the motivation.
I attended a regional meeting of my denomination (I won’t reveal which one or its location) at which we discussed new programs that might appeal to those who once were part of our church, but aren’t anymore. That is a huge concern, considering the Pew Research poll last week that said Christian churches are experiencing sizable declines in membership, with a corresponding substantial increase in the number of Americans who now say they have no religious affiliation at all.
One presentation at our conference focused on why people resist change, and fear is a huge part of it. The speaker said we all fear being forced out of our comfort zones, and he wasn’t just talking about the people who may benefit from those new programs. He was talking about us delegates.
I went to the microphone to say there are three primary fears that will prevent us from implementing new programs: the fear of the unknown; the fear of humiliation; and the fear of being rejected by those in authority when we speak up.
I said that the talk we’d heard about fear reminded me of 1 John 4:18, in which he says, “Where there is fear there is no love because perfect love casts out fear.” I said we can take great comfort in Jesus’ love for each of us. There’s nothing unknown to him so we can obey him confidently. Jesus never humiliates us when he calls us to change. And even if official leaders reject us Jesus never will.
To my surprise, I got enthusiastic applause at that point. But then I continued by asking what else might prevent us from achieving our lofty goals. And then I jumped off the cliff by answering my own question.
I said the church (every denomination, by the way, not just mine) must apologize to those it has offended. For example, when children are taught dry theology rather than being introduced to the Lord we insult those kids. When we treat our faith like an academic exercise the result is that many kids leave the faith as soon as they’re done with the classwork. The Pew poll proves it.
Those kids have a legitimate but non-verbalized question that every denomination must answer before we can win people to the faith: What’s in it for me? Or to rephrase it: Why should I care? In 1 John 4:19 he writes that “God loved us first.” We are invited, even expected, to let God love us before we make any effort to love him in return, either directly or by loving those around us.
Unless and until we allow Jesus to love us in tangible ways we can’t really have faith in God, let alone obey him, because he hasn’t demonstrated that he exists and that he is worthy of being trusted and obeyed. We can’t really surrender, which I believe is the one word that most accurately describes the ideal for our relationship with Jesus.
Surrender is a highly threatening word if it’s misunderstood. Surrendering to Jesus isn’t the same as surrendering in a war. I don’t surrender my power to think. I don’t surrender my free will. I remain fully myself. My friend Jim said that, when he asked kids in a residential school for emotionally damaged kids to define surrender during a Sunday worship service, one kid said it simply means, “You stop fighting.” Bingo!
When I stop fighting God and simply give him a chance to influence me, teach me and minister to me, He comes through. That’s when surrender loses the aura of being threatening, although it can still be inconvenient, stressful, time-consuming and even life-altering at times.
Surrender empowers us to apologize. When I suggested apologizing I got almost no applause. I think it’s because apologizing would force delegates out of their comfort zones and into an uncomfortable humility. They were suddenly confronting the truth of that speaker’s words and they didn’t like it. My task now is to pray that God will overcome their resistance to the kind of change that could change everything. Care to join me?
All God’s blessings – Mark
P.S. I’m taking a brief vacation. I need time to pray, rest and probably eat too much. I’ll write again when I return.
