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Helping Friends Past Life’s Roadblocks

By Scott McIntyre

What if your friend seems to have come to a roadblock in their journey of life? What can you say or do, when they tell you something like, “there’s no hope, nothing’s working for  me.”

Don’t give up, even if they’ve told you they don’t want to continue discussing the issue or gotten angry when you attempted to offer a suggestion, because you might be surprised at some of the options you have.

Some Strategic Options

  • Respond by listening – Listen with compassion to their concerns and don’t feel obligated to provide an answer; the reply they need to hear may come from  someone else.
  • Recommit your friendship – Let them know that regardless of where the current issue takes them, it won’t change the bond of friendship you share.
  • Recall similar doubts – We don’t have to present a picture perfect lifestyle. If you struggled (or are struggling) with the same or similar roadblock, don’t be afraid to tell them.
  • Recognize the power of resources – You don’t know everything and your friend is well aware of that.  But you can talk to others for help or search online and what you find might be just what your friend needs.
  • Recruit an expert – Regardless of the roadblock, there’s probably people out there who deal regularly with the same issue your friend is dealing with.  Go find one!

A Final Word

Your friend may be seemingly stubborn in their refusal to accept the help you’re offering, even after you’ve tried some of these strategic options. Don’t despair…miracles still happen.  And even if the situation doesn’t improve, or gets worse, ultimately, it’s not our responsibility to make people accept what we are trying to do in the way of help.

P.S.  When I originally wrote most of these thoughts for Share the Savior, it was to help people assist their friends past spiritual roadblocks.  After joining the writers at Spokane Faith and Values, I realized it might be able to assist a much wider audience. 

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About Scott McIntyre

Scott McIntyre is glad his parents didn’t name him Vladimir or he’d be listed last on this page. While a long time California resident, he was the Oakland Spirituality Examiner for Examiner.com from 2011-12 and about the same time began blogging on several topics. The first, teaching Christians how to lovingly share their spiritual beliefs, emphasized skills that can benefit all forms of one-to-one interaction. He also writes on marriage, travel, downsizing, humor, and the motive behind people’s words and actions. After retiring in 2016, Scott embarked on some major ‘R & R’; Relocating and Rebranding. Following in his sister’s footsteps from the early 80’s, and later in the decade, his parent’s, Scott left the Golden State to become a Washingtonian in a small town just west of Spokane County.

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