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Get Your Hearing Checked

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By Scott McIntyre

In what areas do we treat our spouse like this man does his?

An old man went to the doctor complaining that his wife could barely hear. The doctor suggested a test to find out the extent of the problem. “Stand far behind her and ask her a question, and then slowly move up and see how far away you are when she first responds.” The old man, excited to finally be working on a solution for the problem, ran home and saw his wife preparing supper. ” Honey,” the man asks standing around 20 feet away, “What’s for supper?” After receiving no response he tried it again 15 feet away and again no response. Then again at 10 feet away and still no response. Finally, from 5 feet away “Honey what’s for supper?” and she replies “For the fourth time it’s lasagna!”

That would be too funny if it didn’t characterize how we deal with each other without realizing our own ‘deafness’.

I’m so thoughtful toward my wife and I’ll do anything to keep her from over exerting herself, especially at night when I’m comfortably settled on the couch watching something on television.  She’ll be straightening up in the kitchen and out of my deep concern, I’ll encourage her to set things aside and come join me.  She often continues working, moving on to another task after her work in the kitchen is finished.

Meanwhile, I’m continuing to tell her she’s working too hard and should rest.  She doesn’t listen all the time and eventually I can start getting frustrated at her constant activity.  Doesn’t she know she can take a break and relax with her thoughtful, caring husband?  Actually, as she continues working away, she probably recognizes well before it dawns on me, why I want her to take a break.  It’s very hard to justify sitting by yourself watching television when the woman you claim to love is working her fingers to the bone for your benefit.  If she’d just stop working, I wouldn’t feel so guilty sitting here trying to relax and ignoring the work that needs to be done.

Read the joke again and then ponder how I’ve behaved and ask yourself the tough question:  Am I too deaf to hear what my spouse is saying?  If you discover something, here are a few tips you might want to consider…

  1. Commit to change
  2. Ask your spouse for forgiveness
  3. Prove to them you will change
  4. Share with us your ‘deaf spot’ (it might be just what someone else needs to hear)

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Scott McIntyre

About Scott McIntyre

Scott McIntyre is glad his parents didn’t name him Vladimir or he’d be listed last on this page. While a long time California resident, he was the Oakland Spirituality Examiner for Examiner.com from 2011-12 and about the same time began blogging on several topics. The first, teaching Christians how to lovingly share their spiritual beliefs, emphasized skills that can benefit all forms of one-to-one interaction. He also writes on marriage, travel, downsizing, humor, and the motive behind people’s words and actions. After retiring in 2016, Scott embarked on some major ‘R & R’; Relocating and Rebranding. Following in his sister’s footsteps from the early 80’s, and later in the decade, his parent’s, Scott left the Golden State to become a Washingtonian in a small town just west of Spokane County.

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