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For clarity it is not a rule that Orthodox Christians stand during the whole of a church service, but when they do it is more of a reverence for the “Presence” of the sacred. 

there are a lot of differences between the branches of Judaism

In Judaism, G-d doesn’t have a physical form, so in that sense, no G-d doesn’t have a gender. 

So far I haven't been asked any really silly questions.  I mean that.

You’re not wrong. If the MPAA — the U.S. organization that gives movies content-based ratings, such as PG-13 — got ahold of the Old Testament, it would be slapped with a hard R, if not the dreaded NC-17 (no children 17 and under admitted).

Becoming a “Jew by choice” (the term that is increasingly preferred over “convert,” which some people feel has negative connotations) is a process — you don’t suddenly, in one epiphanic moment, accept the teachings of Judaism and then, wham bam, you’re a Jew.