Ask A Jew: How are children raised up in your faith tradition? (Part 2)

There is no one way to raise Jewish children. It can be different for each family. Some families keep kosher, send their kids to religious day schools, and go to services every week. Some families drop their kids off at Hebrew school once or twice a week and stop once a child has a bar/bat mitzvah ceremony. Some families aren’t members of any synagogues, but are active in various with social justice pursuits. There can be varying degrees of all of these. I can’t speak to everyone’s path, but I can explain our what our family does.

For us personally, it was our children who made us more active Jews. Before having kids, we rarely went to services and weren’t members of any congregation. When I was first pregnant, we moved and specifically searched for a synagogue with our children in mind. We only became truly active once we had children.

When our twins were babies, we only went to services for special occasions, but we attended as many dinners and events as possible. We kept kosher. We sang Jewish songs. We read Jewish books. My first words to all of our children after they were born was to recite the Shema. We lit Shabbat candles. When our girls were about 4 years old, they came home from Sunday school with an assignment to tell their class about something in their home that shows they’re Jewish. One of our girls brought in a feather and flashlight (used for Passover cleaning). The other argued the people who lived there were what best illustrated our Jewishness.

We later joined a congregation that became far more family-friendly. The kids were welcomed warmly. They were even encouraged to run around the halls. They loved going to services. As a toddler, our youngest daughter spent much of services playing on the bima with the rabbi’s daughter. Children were expected, understood, and welcomed. One of the reasons we joined that congregation was for the fantastic Hebrew school program. Starting in kindergarten, the children attended Hebrew school once a week (and loved it). From third grade and up, they went twice a week. There were also summer Hebrew school programs and they attended Jewish day camp. They all attended Sunday school from the time they were 3 years old.

We’re at services every weekend. Our daughters’ had a b’not mitzvah ceremony at 12 years old. Our son will have a bar mitzvah ceremony at 13 years old. Those who can have read Torah. We’re very active with Tikkun Olam (social justice) projects both with our synagogue and individually. We’re active in various Shoah remembrance programs. Our children enter the Never Again Spokane Yom HaShoah contest every year and they’ve been active participants in the ceremony every year.

Different branches have different youth groups aimed at different ages (middle and high school groups are most common, but some congregations have youth groups for younger children). There are various summer camps and programs where Jewish children from all over the country (and in some cases all over the world) can come together.

Judaism is fantastic for family togetherness. Our holidays encourage or even require us to come together with our children and teach them. Pesach just ended. The entire point of a Passover seder is to join together to teach our children both the history and the ethics. In this way, our children are able to celebrate and learn.

There are varying ways to raise Jewish children. For us, being active in our children’s education, their history, and their identity has worked best to keep our whole family engaged as active Jews.