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Ask A Buddhist: What happens to someone after suicide?

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Sarah Conover has been a Buddhist practitioner for nearly three decades. She’s ready to answer your questions about the faith. What do you want to ask a Buddhist? Submit your questions online or if you would rather not take your answer ‘on the air’ please let Conover know by providing your email with your question.

By Sarah Conover

In Buddhism, what happens to someone after suicide?

House-Ad_SPO_Ask-a-Buddhist_0521131What happens to someone after suicide from a Buddhist perspective? My friend, Venerable Chonyi at Sravasti Abbey says, “Rebirth, and then who knows?” It’s a skillful answer. Who can presume to know with certainty the trajectory of a person’s rebirth and beyond?

That being said, the primary ethic of Buddhism is to do no harm. As suicide harms the victim as well as those left behind, it is clearly an act with significant consequences.

Even if a person doesn’t believe in rebirth or an afterlife, the action of suicide rips across the lives of many. Any of us connected to a suicide—even by several degrees of separation—know this truism from experience. We ache not only for the person whose anguish led him or her to this most extreme act, but almost as much for the family and friends left wondering what they could have done to prevent it.

Unlike most other religions, various schools of Buddhism don’t condemn suicide without exception, but exceptions are rare indeed. A human birth is seen as incredibly precious, an opportunity not to be wasted. That the human predicament includes stress and suffering is the First Noble Truth; the Second, Third and Fourth Noble Truths guide our relationship to that suffering.

Not that the transformation of suffering is easy. I don’t diminish the utter anguish that causes someone to end his or her life. Brain scans show that the same pain receptors activated in physical trauma are activated by psychological suffering. In other words, distress and grief can feel exactly like an incapacitating pain assaulting the physical body. I’ve had some experience around this, and I do not belittle the experience. For many, the misery is intolerable and they lack the tools—whether pharmaceutical, spiritual and/or psychological—to see pain’s end on their horizon.  There’s a well-known quote in the field of suicide prevention: “You don’t want to die; you just want the pain to go away.”

From a Buddhist perspective, the reasons for suicide are almost always ripe with erroneous thought, far off the path to happiness and freedom as taught by the Buddha. Andrew Holecek, in his beautiful essay, Relating to Suicide from a Buddhist Perspective, says:

It’s human nature to avoid suffering, how we do so remains the question. In terms of the view, one way to look at suicide…is to understand that suicide comes from a wild case of mistaken identity. In Buddhism, there are two fundamental levels of identity: the relative and the absolute. The relative level is the false level that comes from identifying with the contents of our mind – our thoughts and emotions. Until one enters a genuine spiritual path (where the idea of relative and absolute is first introduced), this is the only level of identity that exists.

In some sense, all spiritual traditions teach that a truer level of identity is available for us to experience other than the complicated and often jarring contents of mind and emotion. Buddhism often uses the metaphor of a cloudless sky to represent our foundational level of being (the absolute) versus the turbulent weather of our everyday life (the relative). Gautama Buddha laid out an eminently practical and gradual path to understanding the truth of ultimate reality while coming to know the storms of daily life as passing, insubstantial phenomena.

In the traditional Buddhist worldview that includes rebirth, if one’s last act is the result a negative mind set, that may affect the person’s best chances for a favorable rebirth. But as Venerable says above, “Who knows?”

In practical terms, she suggests acts that generate blessings on behalf of the dead. Sogyal Rinpoche in the “Tibetan Book of Living and Dying has this to say about these offerings:

Meditation and prayers are not the only kind of help we can give to the dead. We can offer charity in their name to help the sick and needy. We can give their possessions to the poor. We can contribute, on their behalf, to humanitarian or spiritual ventures such as hospitals, aid projects, hospices, or monasteries.

Venerable Chonyi adds that we should do these same things for the dead no matter the cause of their demise.

saraquoteOur goodness is what survives death, and so we cultivate that goodness in ourselves as well as nurture and celebrate the goodness of others around us, continuing to do so when they have passed. Included in a forthcoming anthology of writings by various authors, “The Suicide Funeral (or Memorial Service): Honoring their Memory, Comforting their Survivors,” the Abbess of Sravasti Abbey, Venerable Thubten Chodron has composed a beautiful meditation for survivors of suicide loss that underscores this goodness and love, connecting the survivors with the dead through compassion.

Venerable Chodron also spoke—in non-religious terms—at “In the Spirit of Hope,” the 18th Annual Healing after Suicide Conference. That talk is on-line, and from my research, is far and away the wisest words I’ve heard, Buddhist or otherwise, about what “to do” after the loss of a beloved to suicide. She touches upon many simple and yet radical approaches to transform the love we felt for our special person and our grief at his/her loss. Among her suggestions: recognize the depth of love we shared, rejoice in it, fill our heart with it. Know that, eventually, we will be able share the depth of that love with others in ways we never could have imagined before the death. To transform our grief and love is not dishonoring the dead—it’s honoring them to the fullest.

*Writer’s Note

Fortunately and finally, our country is beginning to come to terms with the fact that suicide, taken out of shame’s corner, can be addressed and mitigated. Only recently has it become state law in Washington that mental health and health care providers must be trained in suicide prevention. Absent such a requirement, mental health counselors, medical professionals—nurses, doctors and even psychologists—are not highly trained in prevention. Someone in crisis seeking help often falls into a chasm of vulnerability due to lack of services. 

Zero Suicide Inland Northwest Conference March 11, 12 Gonzaga University
The great news is that Spokane has recently become visible on the national forefront of suicide prevention. The second Zero Suicide Inland Northwest Conference is being held at Gonzaga University this March 11 and 12. It includes professional credits for various trainings, as well as free programs for lay folks that include: Loss Survivors and Support Groups; “Causes, Myths and Prevention of Suicide;” “What Every Mental Health Professional, Provider, Educator and Parent Ought to Know about the Early Onset of Serious Mental Illness in Children and Adolescents.” Some of the keynote presenters are giants in this field, having dedicated their lives to suicide prevention. Last year’s conference stunned me into an awareness of the depth and breadth of this problem and our feeble national response to it. But all that is beginning to change. Two Washington organizations to stay in touch with for further community involvement: Forefront at www.intheforefront.org, and NAMI Spokane, www.namispokane.org.

 

Sarah Conover

About Sarah Conover

Sarah Conover is a writer and teacher who, despite a fierce wanderlust, calls Spokane home. She has an MFA in poetry, and is the author of seven books on world wisdom traditions and spirituality. She and husband Doug Robnett are parents of two remarkable children long-ago nicknamed: “Swaminathan and the Material Girl.” Conover, getting old now, has enjoyed multiple careers. The best one yet is the latest: teaching creative writing, a course called “Making it Matter," to the eldering through Spokane Community College ACT 2 program. She hosted the Ask a BuddhistFāVS column for several years.

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13 comments

  1. Hello,

    This is a very important public service announcement concerning our future well being. I found this information very interesting and should be read by everyone. Please take the time to read it over:

    We are heading towards a future in which they will mandate us to have an RFID microchip placed in our body. This microchip will hold all our personal information, and we will lose much more of our privacy because of the tracking capabilities.

    Did you know this microchiop matches perfectly with prophecy in the Bible? Please read on!

    “He causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads, and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.

    Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man: His number is 666” (Revelation 13:16-18 NKJV).

    Referring to the last days, this could only be speaking of a cashless money society, which we have yet to see, but are moving towards. Otherwise we could still buy or sell without the mark among others if physical money was still currency. This mark could not be spiritual, because the word references two distinct physical locations on the human body. If it was spiritual, it would just say in the forehead.

    We can see throughout the history of the world how we are being conditioned through the process of convenience. More specifically with how we make payments. We went from physical money to credit and debit cards containing digital money, to these cards having a chip in them, to now being able to place your card near a device that will read its data. As well as self check-out lines in our market places and the cryptocurrency industry making a rapid climb in such form as bitcoin. These are all stepping stones for the powers that run this world to bring about their ultimate goal, that is to place a microchip in each and every one of us.

    RFID microchip implantable technology is on the horizon and will be the future of a one world cashless money society.

    Continue on to see how it perfectly matches up with Biblical prophecy!

    From a YouTube video titled, “Warning From Man Who Designed RFID Microchip”

    Here are some notes from the video:

    “Mr. Carl Sanders attended seventeen New World Order meetings with heads of state officials such as Henry Kissinger and Bob Gates of the C.I.A. to discuss plans on how to bring forth this one-world system. The government commissioned Mr. Sanders to design a microchip for identifying and controlling the peoples of the world-a microchip that could be placed under the skin with a hypodermic needle(a quick, convenient method that would be slowly accepted by society).

    Carl Sanders, with a team of engineers behind him, with U.S. grant monies supplied by tax dollars, took on this challenge and designed a chip that is powered by a lithium battery, rechargeable through the temperature fluctuations in our skin. Without having knowledge of the Bible(Carl was not a follower of Jesus at the time), these engineers spent one and a half million dollars doing research on the best and most convenient place to have the microchip inserted.

    Guess what? These researchers discovered that the forehead and the back of the hand(the two spots Revelation says the mark will go) are not just the most convenient spots, but are also the only viable spots for rapid, consistent temperature changes in the skin to recharge the lithium battery. The chip is about seven millimeters in length, .75 millimeters in diameter, about the size of a grain of rice. It is capable of holding pages upon pages of information about you. All your general history, work history, crime record, health history, and financial data can be stored on this chip.

    Brother Sanders believes that this chip, which he regretfully helped engineer, is the “mark” spoken about in Revelation 13:16-18. The original Greek word for “mark” is “charagma,” which means a “scratch or etching.” It is also interesting to note that the number 666 is actually a word in the original Greek. The word is “chi xi stigma,” with the last part, “stigma,” also meaning “to stick or prick.”

    Carl Sanders asked a doctor what would occur if the lithium contained within the RFID microchip leaked into the body. The doctor responded by saying a terrible sore would appear in that location. This is what the book of Revelation says: “And the first(Angel) went, and poured out his vial on the earth; and there fell a noisome and grievous sore on the men which had the mark of the beast, and on them which worshipped his image” (Revelation 16:2).

    WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE BEAST, THE NUMBER OF ITS NAME? THE MYSTERY OF THE NUMBER 666 REVEALED?

    What I first want to explain, before I share my thoughts on the number of the beast, is that God confirms in threes. We can see this throughout scripture: “For there are three that bear witness in heaven: the Father, the Word, and the Holy Spirit; and these three are one” (1 John 5:7 NKJV). “and that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the Scriptures” (1 Corinthians 15:4 NKJV). “…Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, Who was and is and is to come!” (Revelation 4:8 NKJV). There are many more examples, but I thought I would just share three of them to make the point.

    Looking at Revelation 13:16-18, the first group of three I would like to point out is that the mark of the beast is detailed in three separate verses, 16, 17 and 18. The next three I see is in verse 16, “He causes all…” is followed by three contrasting categories of people, “both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave…”. Then unto verse 17, it opens with, “and that no one may buy or sell except one who has…”, followed by three explanations of what one must have to buy or sell, “…the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name”. Then in verse 18, we read “Let him who has understanding calculate…”, which is followed by, “the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man: His number is 666”. The last three I see is the number 6 being used three times in a row. The reason I’m making this point is because of the number 666, as you will read below.

    “17: even that not any could buy or sell, except the one having the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of its name” (Literal Greek Translation).

    Here we can see the mark being identified as having the name of the beast, and that name being identified as being a number. We can conclude that these attributes being described in verse 17 are all in one thing because the Bible warns of us about receiving the mark, singular. It is clear in verse 17 that we cannot buy or sell without the mark(being previously identified as a microchip), but why cant we buy or sell without the name of the beast, or the number of its name? What does that have to do with us buying or selling if the number of the beast only applies to identifying the Antichrist, as the common thought has been? So we need the number of the beast to buy or sell. What does this mean?

    “here the wisdom is, the one having the mind let him calculate the number of the wild beast, number for of human it is, and the number of it 666” (Revelation 13:8 Greek Translation).

    “Here is wisdom. Let him that has understanding count the number of the beast: for the number of man; and its number is six hundred sixty-six” (Jubilee Bible 2000 translation).

    “In this situation wisdom is needed. Let the person who has insight figure out the number of the beast, because it is a human number. The beast’s number is 666” (GOD’S WORD translation).

    The Greek word “anthrōpos” being used in verse 18 where it says “of human” is the Greek strongs concordance G444. The first two definitions of the word are “a human being, whether male or female”, and, “generically, to include all human individuals”. Could the number of the beast apply to all mankind? In the Greek, and other translations, you will notice the beast is described as an “it”, instead of “him”. The reason I’m making this point is because when a translation says “His number is 666”, this would imply a singular person, the Antichrist. But by saying “the number of it 666”, implies that it is of the beast system as a whole.

    Throughout history there have been people attempting to calculate numbers based on titles and names that calculate to the number 666 to identify one person. But from verse 18, I do not see where God is instructing us to count up to 666, but rather to count the number of the beast. This number is revealed as 666. So the verse is telling us to count the number 666.

    What does it mean to count? It means to add up. So how could we add up 666? Remember my previous point about God confirming in threes. So logically, what would be the best way to count the number 666? To count it equally in threes based off the number. We cannot count it equally as 600+60+6, this would also bring us back to the start. We cannot count it as 600+600+600, or 60+60+60, because there are no zeroes in between or at the end of 666. The only option is 6+6+6=18. What is interesting is that the verse that reveals for us to count the number itself is verse 18, being the third verse out of three verses that describe the mark of the beast. What is 18 divided by 3? 6. So 3×6=18, or 6+6+6=18.

    Another interesting point is the only two other combinations(making a total of three possible combinations) for placing a “+” symbol in between the 6’s are 66+6=72, and 6+66=72. Adding 7+2 and 7+2 equals 18. Add both 72’s together and you get 144. Why the number 144 is interesting is because the verse following Revelation 13:18 is the first time in the Bible where the 144,000 are being described in detail: “Then I looked, and behold, a Lamb standing on Mount Zion, and with Him one hundred and forty-four thousand, having His Father’s name written on their foreheads…” (Revelation 14:1).

    Now if you add up all three numbers by counting 666 by moving the “+” symbol around, it would be 72+72+18=162. What is interesting about the number 162, is, if you divide 144,000 by 162, you get 888. The name of Jesus in Greek gematria adds up to 888. Revelation 14:1 not only mentions the 144,000, but also the Lamb who is Jesus.

    Applying the same format that I used with calculating the number 666, in which I got the numbers 144 and 162, they also bring interesting results bringing us to the number 18:

    – 14+4=18*

    – 16+2=18*

    – 1+4+4=(9), 1+6+2=(9), (9+9)=18*

    – 1+44=(45), 1+62=(63), (4+5)=9, (6+3)=9, 9+9=18* | (45+63)=108, 10+8=18*

    – 14+4=(18), 1+44=(45), (1+8)=9, (4+5)=9, 9+9=18* | (18+45)=[63] | 16+2=(18), 1+62=(63), (1+8)=9, (6+3)=9, 9+9=18* | (18+63)=[81] | [6+3]=9, [8+1]=9, 9+9=18* | [63+81]=144

    – 1+4+4=(9), 14+4=(18), 1+44=(45), (9+18+45)=[72] (any two combinations of (9, 18, 45, and 72 will add to 18*) | 1+6+2=(9), 16+2=(18), 1+62=(63), 9+18+63=[90] (any two combinations of (9, 18, 63, and 90 will get you 18*) | [7+2]=9, [9+0]=9, 9+9=18* | [72+90]=162

    Now what is interesting about the number for Jesus, 888, is that if you apply this same formula, you get 8+8+8=24. Why the number 24? Revelation chapter 4 tells us there are 24 elders seated around the throne of God. This is the same throne where Jesus sits.

    Now if you take 8+8+8=24, and 8+88=96, and 88+8=96, you get 24+96+96=216. Take 144,000 divided by 216 and you get 666. Remember that this was the same exact formula to get the number 162 out of counting 666 that brought about the number 888 when dividing 144,000 by 162. It is perpetual.

    With using the same formula of counting by adding the “+” symbol in between the numbers, why do all these numbers relate in such a way?

    Another interesting point to note is that if you add up all the numbers from 1 to 36, it totals 666. The number 36, as in three sixes? Could this be a hint that we should add up three sixes instead of perceiving the number as six-hundred sixty six?

    How does this all tie together? We know in this world we are identified by numbers in various forms. From our birth certificate to social security, as well as our drivers license, being labeled based upon a system of rulership. Therefore it is plausible that this RFID chip will contain a new identification that has a total of 18 characters. Could this be the name of the beast, the number of its name? The beast system that is identified by 18 characters? This would correlate with scripture that speaks of a mark that we need to buy or sell in our right hand or forehead, and that it also contains the number of the beast, during a future cashless society.

    Revelation 13:11-15 tells us that a false prophet will arise deceiving many to take the mark because of the miracles he does before those dwelling on Earth. At all costs do not take it!

    “Then a third angel followed them, saying with a loud voice, “If anyone worships the beast and his image, and receives his mark on his forehead or on his hand, he himself shall also drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out full strength into the cup of His indignation. He shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels and in the presence of the Lamb. And the smoke of their torment ascends forever and ever; and they have no rest day or night, who worship the beast and his image, and whoever receives the mark of his name” (Revelation 14:9-11).

    Did you hear about the person from a major media outlet who reported a major event occurring approximately 20 minutes before it actually happened?

    It’s time we know the truth.

    A reporter from BBC reported the fall of World Trade Center 7 on September 11th 2001 approximately 20 minutes before it actually fell!

    Remember, WTC 7 did not get hit by anything, so there would be no reason to assume it would collapse. But she didn’t report on assumption, but that it already did collapse!

    What can we conclude? The only logical explanation is that the power that orchestrated 9/11 is the same power that controls the major media outlets!

    Don’t believe me? Watch the broadcast yourself posted on YouTube titled: “BBC Reports 911, WTC 7 Collapse BEFORE it Happens”

    It gets even worse…

    Did you know there is other footage they don’t want us to see twice? I’m speaking of footage on the day of September 11th 2001 during the time the planes hit both Trade Towers. Eye witness reports say the following concerning the planes:

    – “No, it wasn’t a commercial airliner”
    – “…but it didn’t have any markings on it that I saw”
    – “no emblems, no logos”
    – “It definitely did not look like a commercial plane”
    – “I did not see any windows on the sides”
    – “It was a black plane, it looked like a fighter jet”
    – “It was black, it looks like a military plane”
    – “It was a military plane”

    This video also shares testimonies from firefighters who share their experience being in the world trade towers as bombs were exploding(to weaken the steel beams of the trade towers to cause the free fall collapse).

    As a terrorist, how could you smuggle bombs into the trade towers with all of its security systems which includes bomb sniffing dogs? Also, if terrorists did plant the bombs, then why weren’t we told about the bombs?!

    You can watch a video of this on YouTube by titled: “9/11 – THE FOOTAGE THEY DIDN’T LET YOU SEE TWICE (9/11 2001 Documentary)”

    What about the attack on the Pentagon? Was it really a plane that hit it, or something else, maybe a missle?

    Why did the FBI go around and confiscate camera footage from the surrounding buildings not releasing them to the public when they clearly showed us the planes that hit the trade towers?

    Why was the only footage released to the public from one of the most heavily guarded places in the world low quality footage showing only five frames at about one frame per second?

    The U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld admitted the day before the attack that the Pentagon was missing 2.3 trillion dollars. Could this attack on the Pentagon have anything to do with covering up that information?

    So what conclusion is this coming to? What’s the purpose of this major event that occurred on 9/11? Why did we go to war with Afghanistan and Iraq?

    David Rockefeller is quoted to be saying:

    “Some even believe we are part of a secret cabal working against the best interests of the United States, characterizing my family and me as ‘internationalists’ and of conspiring with others around the world to build a more integrated global political and economic structure–one world, if you will. If that’s the charge, I stand guilty, and I am proud of it.” – David Rockefeller, Memoirs

    Another video to watch is an infamous interview done with movie producer Aaron Russo titled, “Aaron Russo RFID Human Implant Chip”

    Aaron Russo produced such movies as Mad as Hell, Trading Places, and America: Freedom to Fascism. He gained the attention of a man named Nick Rockefeller who saw the movie Made as Hell and knew Aaron was running for governor of Nevada. Knowing the impact Aaron was having on society, who being a freedom fighter standing for the constitution of the United States, Nick sought to befriend him to subtly recruit him into his secret society.

    Aaron shares what Nick had told him:

    “He’s the one who told me 11 months before 9/11 ever happened that there was going to be an event. He never told me what the event was going to be…and out of that event we were going to invade Afghanistan to run pipelines from the Caspian Sea. We are going to invade Iraq to take over the oil fields to establish a base in the middle east, and make it all part of the New World Order…”

    “I remember he was telling me how he was going to see soldiers looking in caves for people in Afghanistan and Pakistan and all these places. And there was going to be this war on terror, where this is no real enemy, and the whole thing is a giant hoax. But it is a way for the government to take over the American people…”

    Aaron asked Nick, “What’s the end goal? And he said the end goal is to get everyone chipped to control the whole society. To have the bankers, the elite people controlling the world…”

    Visit http://WWW.BIBLEFREEDOM.COM to see all the proof! It is at the point where it takes more faith not to believe that the Bible truly is the word of God!

    You will see proof for Noah’s Ark, the Red Sea Crossing, Sodom and Gromorrah, scientific evidence the Bible is inspired by God, testimonies from all walks of life concerning Jesus, and much more!

    “EITHER HUMAN INTELLIGENCE ULTIMATELY OWES ITS ORIGIN TO MINDLESS MATTER OR THERE IS A CREATOR…” – JOHN LENNOX

    For some time, the dominate theory in the scientific community was that the universe was eternal, without a beginning. As progression was made, the final conclusion came to be that the universe is expanding from a single point known as the Big Bang, in which space, time and matter all came into existence at that single event.

    This troubled scientists who’s worldview was purely naturalistic, as this notion concludes that what caused the universe to come into existence must be spaceless, timeless, and inmateral, favoring the Biblical God.

    The non-biblical religions tell us that god or god’s create within space and time that eternally exist. The Bible stands alone and says that time and space don’t exist until God creates the universe.

    The Bible tells us that God is a Spirit who fills the Earth, the heavens, and the Heavens of Heavens cannot contain Him. That He dwells in unaproachable light, being eternal with no beginning. This is the type of being who could cause the universe to come into existence. This also fits with reason that there must be an uncaused cause, otherwise you are left with an infinite regression in which idea is not logically coherent.

    The Bible also states in multiple places that God stretches out the heavens, thousands of years before scientists discovered an expanding universe.

    Ask yourself, if there is a God, wouldn’t He be personal, because we as His creation are personal? Wouldn’t He have reached out to us by now? Wouldn’t His word be the most read and translated in the history of the world, full of predictive prophecies? The Bible is that word!

    “For the scientist who has lived by his faith in the power of reason, the story ends like a bad dream. He has scaled the mountains of ignorance; he is about to conquer the highest peak; as he pulls himself over the final rock, he is greeted by a band of theologians who have been sitting there for centuries.” – Robert Jastrow, astronomer

    Jesus says we must be born again to enter the kingdom of God (John 3). In our sins, we are spiritually dead. Therefore we must be born from above by the Spirit of God to be made alive again.

    I hope this information has convinced you of the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ for the salvation of your soul. All religion is man-made, and the Bible warns that there will be many false doctrines that will spread throughout the world. Jesus calls us to pick up our cross and follow Him. Not any religion or denomination. He wants us to have a relationship with our Father in Heaven, to worship Him in spirit and in truth.

    Jesus says narrow is the way that leads to life, and few be there that find it (Matthew 7:13-14). Will you humble yourself before the Lord tonight in prayer, acknowledging that you need a savior? He is faithul to forgive. Keep asking Him for the Holy Spirit, so you may receive the Spirit of Christ, giving you a new heart, and He will lead you into all truth.

    “He who covers his sins will not prosper, But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy” (Proverbs 28:13).

    Place your trust and hope in Jesus Christ. Today is the day of salvation, for you are not promised tomorrow!

    Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me” (John 14:6).

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