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Poem: Holy Irreverence

By Christi Ortiz

Have you ever been shaken by God’s holy irreverence
to our presumptions, perceptions, our theories and theologies?
She swoops in with her mischievous Spirit
breaking our idol molds, coloring outside the lines, and stretching
our cognitive abilities beyond comprehension.
With one tiny Divine Spark, she can singe our assurances
leaving us completely in the dark.

Not afraid to let us grope, and grumble, and ponder without understanding,
this audacity and recklessness can only come from such a profound Faith
and Ancient Wisdom, that can hold the expanse without fear or crumbling.
A knowing so deep and undisturbed that the questions and doubts
can skip along like pebbles on the surface of a pond.
Unmoved by the crumbling of our concepts.
Shaking our foundations, discontent to let us Trust in anything but herself.

Doesn’t God know we are made to stand on solid ground?
And that we don’t take to Faith or flight very easily?
Why did He make our minds to crave such solid platforms
tangible answers, logical conclusions, clear solutions?

Did He create us so just to taunt us with Her mystery?
Why did She create such an expansive, chaotic, dynamic universe
place us on a planet spinning at a rate we could never sense
floating in an endless space that we could never comprehend
but blind us to it all in the safety and stillness of our mother’s arms?

Why must He dwell in Trinity when we can only really comprehend duality?
Why must She confine us to laws of physics and small mind when ‘They’ defy them all?

How interesting we call our greatest discoveries ‘break throughs’
As if deep down we know that great insight, creativity, knowledge comes only when we break free of our preconceived ideas and conventions.
The most profound advances in science, medicine, physics, biology, theology,
have come when we have transcended the known equations, left the silos of our disciplines, drank of the wisdom from other fields, invited foreign notions, suspended judgement and comprehension to imagine, to hold paradox, to be expanded

Does God create only to destroy and resurrect?
Why does the beauty of the new life that arises from the ashes
always pale that which reined before it?

Why must we forfeit the Tree of Live, the harmony unity and peace of the Garden when we cling to the tree of knowledge?
Why is it only the ship of Unknowing that can voyage us to where we long to go?
How can our hearts yearn for that which we know not?

Why are we driven by a holy discontent for the horizon?
As if knowing what we long for lies beyond?

Christi Ortiz

About Christi Ortiz

Christi Ortiz is a licensed marriage and family therapist by profession and a poet by passion.  She enjoys trying to put to words to that which is wordless and give voice to the dynamic and wild spiritual journey called life. She lives in Spokane with her husband and two children, Emmanuel and Grace. She loves the outdoors and meditating in the early mornings which gives rise to her poetry.

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