As 2013 approaches, I am considering more and more the consequences of my actions. More accurately my inaction. I have spent a great deal of time thinking of myself as a Buddhist who has few worldly attachments, kind actions, and a generous spirit. But lately I have found that to be untrue. My home is filled with trinkets and appurtenances accumulated over a lifetime of materialism. Upon closer appraisal of my actions I find that I am kind to my friends and loved ones, but not necessarily to strangers. And when evaluating my intentions I have found that I have been less than generous to those around me. I have deceived myself into believing that I have been providing an example for how I wish the world to be, that I have been walking a Buddhist path. In that deception I have robbed myself of spiritual depth and provided the world with countless moments of suffering. I have neglected my spiritual garden and the soil has begun to grow sour.
While that may have lost my way in 2012, I resolve to make 2013 a year that I can honestly say I've walked a Buddhist path. I will loosen my attachments to worldly possessions, give kindness to all those I encounter, and give generously to those in need and to those who seemingly want for nothing. In these ways I will advance my spiritual journey as well as improve the world in which I live. Whenever I find myself straying from this path I've resolved to walk, I hope that I will have the awareness to see my missteps and return myself to the path before I become lost. Our world is a complex place, but the choices we have are often simple. We can choose awareness or blindness, I challenge myself to choose awareness this year and hopefully every year left to follow.