fbpx
37.6 F
Spokane
Friday, March 29, 2024
HomeCommentaryAskAsk A Jew: What is shiva?

Ask A Jew: What is shiva?

Date:

Related stories

My Journey through Homelessness Part Five: Learning to Live Outside the Box

The value of my homeless experience lies not so much in having learned how to live outside — at least not in the geographical sense. The value of my homeless experience lies in having learned how to live outside the box.

Lost in Translation: Isn’t It Time We Moved Beyond a Fear-Based Repentance?

When I hear the kingdom is at hand, followed immediately by the command to repent, the good news is overshadowed by the fear that I’m not good enough to be part of the kingdom of God.

Inspiring Others: How Our Marriage Turned 50

As we prepare to celebrate 50 years there are so many thoughts and memories going through my head. I have joked about how I don't know how you've put up with me for this long, which is really true in a sense with my Irish enthusiasm and temper.

Taking the Road ‘Less Traveled by’ Has Made ‘All the Difference’

Pete Haug remembers hearing Robert Frost read his poem "The Road not Taken" 65 years ago. It reminded him of his spiritual journey out of the Christianity of his youth into choosing the Baha'i faith as an adult.

Ask an EOC: Can You Confess in Private to God but not in Church Confession and be Forgiven?

Concerning the sacrament of Confession, Christ directly gave the authority to his Church to remit or retain the sins of the penitent. 

Our Sponsors

spot_img
spot_img

What questions do you have about Judaism? Submit them online, or fill out the form below.

By Neal Schindler

Can you explain the concept of shiva?

Sometimes, your faithful “Ask a Jew” writer gets weary. And when he does, he’s always thrilled to find that a star-studded cast — in this case, Jason Bateman, Tina Fey, Corey Stoll (“House of Cards”), Adam Driver (“Girls”), and the legendary Jane Fonda — is willing to do at least some of his work for him.

And so, I give you a shiva-related scene from the delightful dramedy “This is Where I Leave You.” It got mixed reviews, but I rather enjoyed it — gotta love that cast! — and it’s one of a few places in pop culture where shivas have popped up in the last few years. Another, Amazon’s great (dramedy) series “Transparent,” I once deemed possibly the best Jewish TV show ever made.

I’d link to a shiva scene from “Transparent,” but it seems Amazon does a pretty thorough job of keeping clips off YouTube. That said, the website My Jewish Learning’s YouTube channel includes a nifty video about Jewish mourning and shivas that actually does include some brief scenes from “Transparent,” albeit behind explanatory captions and plaintive piano music.

Anyway, as Rabbi Joseph Telushkin observes in an essay on shivas for My Jewish Learning:

After the burial, mourners return home (or, ideally, to the home of the deceased) to sit shiva for seven days. Shiva is simply the Hebrew word for seven. During the shiva week, mourners are expected to remain at home and sit on low stools. This last requirement is intended to reinforce the mourners’ inner emotions.

Numbers are a big deal in Judaism, so if you thought seven referred only to the number of days families sit shiva, you’d be mistaken. “There are seven relatives for whom a Jew is required to observe shiva,” Telushkin notes: “father or mother, sister or brother, son or daughter, and spouse.” Traditionally, during shiva there will be three prayer services every day in the home, and the family’s synagogue will do what they can to ensure that there’s a minyan (10 Jewish adults, or 10 men in Orthodox Judaism) so that all of the necessary prayers can be said. (With fewer than 10, some must be omitted.)

Also traditionally, some aspects of self-care go by the wayside during shiva: “Mourners must not shave, take a luxurious bath, wear leather shoes (which Jewish tradition regards as particularly comfortable), have sex, or launder their clothes during the week of shiva.” As is pretty much always the case in Judaism, less traditional Jews may engage in only some of these practices.

Neal Schindler
Neal Schindler
A native of Detroit, Neal Schindler has lived in the Pacific Northwest since 2002. He has held staff positions at Seattle Weekly and The Seattle Times and was a freelance writer for Jew-ish.com from 2007 to 2011. Schindler was raised in a Reconstructionist Jewish congregation and is now a member of Spokane's Reform congregation, Emanu-El. He is the director of Spokane Area Jewish Family Services. His interests include movies, Scrabble, and indie rock. He lives with his wife, son, and two cats in West Central Spokane.

Our Sponsors

spot_img
spot_img
spot_img
0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
spot_img
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x